DIY MXC

I am completely enamored with this site:

Disembodied voices get all the chicks.

It works like this: The guy who runs the site has put up a bunch of truncated Japanese commercials. Anybody who registers can then write subtitles, and the resulting “foshata” goes up for the world to see. There’s a voting function that’s open to all registrants, and the results are a decent gauge of quality.

Here are some more of my favorites:

Alzheimer’s
Found this
Roof wizards
Little boy

To surf for more, I recommend using the box in the upper-right corner of the page. Clicking on “best” will show you which foshatas made in the last day have gotten the most positive votes. (There are also “week,” “month,” and “all time” options.)

Or if you just want to try your luck, you can click “random foshata” on the left-hand side. Plus in the same menu is the “plagiarizer,” which takes random subtitles from other foshatas and throws them on random videos. Good absurdist fun! “New foshata” is what you click to create your own, which you need to be registered for. Luckily it’s free and extremely quick. (We’ll see how long the free part lasts, if this site gets popular enough.)

And if you come across some foshatas by “astro-l”… yeah, that’s me. I think I might be getting addicted to it.

(Oh yeah, props to memepool for the gankage.)

Mmmmm, it’s Christ-tastic!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah. Not only did I find an actual copy of it, it’s now signed by the Liefeld himself:

''I kick ass for the LOR-- for ME!''

So of course I had to ask him what the deal was. His explanation was that he and his cohorts decided “Godyssey” would be a cool name for a comic, so what should happen in it? Well, you always see gods running around in comics, but you never see Jesus. “What would Jesus do?” I added.

“Yeah, so I figured the other gods’d be all, ‘Ha ha, look at him on the cross!’ And then he’d be all, [makes tearing-hands-off-of-cross motion, with guttural sounds],” Liefeld explained. Then after a pause, “We were totally in on the joke. We thought it’d be fun.”

“Well, it’s pretty amazing. I saw scans on the Internet and just knew I had to find it.”

[Looking at two-page spread again] “Y’know, the Passion happened, then this.”

“The Passion was the prequel to the Godyssey.”

“Right!”

All in all, Rob was pretty jovial, and we were both laughing. Oh, and you’re probably wondering now, what happens in the REST of the comic? Well, this is on the page following all the scans already on the Net:

Cut for brevity and mildly-NSFW content

The New and Improved Testament

This weekend is the Emerald City ComiCon, featuring a few guests I’m stoked about, like Rick Leonardi and Fred Grisholm. And one guest I’m creaming holes in my shorts about… Mr. ROB “HOLY SHIT I’M ROB LIEFELD” LIEFELD.

My first instinct was, of course, to throw some of my friend’s dead mice at him. (This friend owns a snake. Which I should probably throw too.) But at the end of the day, the law would likely be forced to side with Liefeld, on account of your whole freakin’ system’s out of order. So instead, I realized I needed to get his autograph on a copy of Godyssey.

For anybody who hasn’t been lucky enough to see it as it’s made its Internet rounds:

You'd think he'd want to take the nails WITH him.

Yes indeed, that IS in fact Jesus H. Christ tearing himself off the cross ’cause he ain’t takin’ no Greek-god shit.

As far as I know, the book consists of just these seven pages, written but sadly not drawn by Liefeld:
Page 1
Page 2
Page 3
Pages 4 and 5
Page 6
Page 7

I don’t know how hard it is to find, but I’ll be calling the comic shops around town. In all likelihood, I’ll just be bringing printouts of those scans, but maybe that’s funnier? I don’t know. I’m too overwhelmed.

(Putting the “Hell” back in “Hellenistic!”)

Why do I do the things I do?

Just picked up some books I’d reserved at the library. I was reading the dust-jacket blurb on one of them, and I came across this sentence. See if you can guess the book:

“Fleeing Ebou Dar through Seanchan-controlled Altara with the kidnapped Daughter of the Nine Moons while traveling with Valan Luca’s Grand Traveling Show and Magnificent Display of Marvels and Wonders, Mat attempts to court the woman to whom he is half-married, knowing that she will complete that ceremony eventually, but Tuon coolly leads him on a merry chase as he learns that even a gift can have deep significance among the Seanchan Blood and what he thinks he knows of women is not enough to save him.”

Twenty Shame-and-Self-Recrimination Points if you got it! Don’t spend ’em all in one place!

(If I had a braid, I’d tug it at myself for this.)

News… on a PLANE

More Snakes On a Plane news!!

“Film bosses at distributor New Line Cinema opted to add new scenes to the film to take the movie from PG-13 into R-rated territory, according to industry magazine The Hollywood Reporter. They claim the second round of filming became necessary after intense and growing fan interest in the film, which is scheduled to be released this summer. Among the reported additions to the film is a foul-mouthed rant from Jackson in which his agent character bellows, ‘I want these motherf**king snakes off the motherf**king plane!’ The line is expected to take on cult status. The film-makers have reportedly added more gore, more deaths, more nudity and more snakes to the finished product.”

(This is doing all sorts of crazy things to the snake in my pants)

While you were out!

My roommate found this lying on the sidewalk about a block away from our place:

''Security Door''?  ''Sectional Door''?  ''Sectaur Door''?

Don’t really know what to make of it. The address is in a totally different part of the city. (The blurry part is where I censored the phone number.) It’s just… kind of spooky, though I’m darkly amused by how plain and neat the handwriting is. “Frightened… door… wolves… all right, I’ll let Mr. Johnson know, thank you for calling.”

(Could it have something to do with the meat raviolis?)

Happy St. Paddy’s day… on a PLANE!

On the day when we celebrate St. Patrick, who freed Ireland from the snaky menace, they just so happen to release the first official trailer… for…

for…

SNAKES ON A PLANE.

It’s at the bottom of this page. And you’ll need the latest Flash player to see it.

Yes, THAT Samuel L. Jackson.
The Samuel L. Jackson who can Taser a snake.
Maybe he can reason with it.
My... GOD, yes.

There is at least one fan-trailer out there too. BE NOT DECEIVED. Samuel L. does not wield a light saber in this movie.

(Not when he can Taser the snakes instead.)

The only travel guide you’ll ever need

You have 101 ways to say “I love you.” I have fourteen ways to say “Do not aim at eyes or face.”

This scan just put Rick Steves out of business.

I’m digging the frightened-child art, though it took me a bit to figure it out. The projectiles are part of the picture, I think. So if your projectiles are going to fly in a given direction, you’re not allowed to put a child there. Or you’re only allowed if the child’s head is encased in a red-fringed bubble. Or if it’s just a decapitated child’s head inside the bubble, because dude. Toy projectiles are the least of that head’s problems.

(Or it means, why have kids when you can have these cool plastic missiles instead?)