In an e-mail to me, my girlfriend mentioned that she had gotten “a Latvian scam email,” which I of course read as “Latverian.” Then my brain immediately gave me this:

The magnanimous DOOM is holding an inconceivable amount of your nigh-worthless money in a special account, which he needs to transfer through your soon-to-be-vassal-state’s financial system for reasons with which you need not concern yourself. YOU HAVE BEEN PERSONALLY SELECTED BY DOOM to bear this honor. You shall submit to DOOM all personal information immediately. Upon completion of the transaction, DOOM shall reward you handsomely by calling off the assassination squad currently assigned to you. HAIL DOOM.