Tomorrow – well, okay, today, but after I’ve slept – I’m going to be heading to Microsoft for their more-or-less-annual Puzzle Hunt. It’s been a tradition for a number of years now, something that the employees put on for themselves. Basically, a group of people creates a whole bunch of puzzles for everybody to solve. “Everybody” is whoever wants in, in teams of up to twelve members. Non-Microsofties such as myself can play, but we have to be invited. It runs from 10:00 Saturday till sometime Sunday evening, and it’s not at all uncommon for people to pull all-nighters.

The puzzles run pretty much the gamut of puzzling – wordplays, math stuff, patterns, geometric constructions, visual tricks, clue series hidden around the MS campus, even video/pinball games sometimes. It’s all strung together with a storyline, which usually involves… performances of some sort from the people putting it on. Yeah, well. Did I mention it’s free?

And also that it’s HARD. This is my third year, and our team has consistently placed around 14th/15th (out of 40-50). So that’s not too bad, but we’re also in no danger of winning. Which is fine by me, since the reward for first place is that your team gets to put together the next Puzzle Hunt.

Anyhow, I’m trying to prepare by getting snacks and stuff ahead of time, so we don’t just buy doughnuts and chips and pizza when we get hungry. My currently-unfamished mind can plan ahead and get healthy stuff that’s not going to kill our brains. Veggie platters and trail mix and sammitch fixin’s and so forth.

But I’m not the type who ever thinks about what makes for “healthy” snacks. So of course I turned to the Internet for help. And I quickly found this wonderful SNACK REVIEW SITE. I know! But despite its inherent awesomeness, it failed to help me find particularly healthy options. What it DID help me find, though, was this:

''Two great tastes.  Let's leave it at that.''

Sour cream and…. what?

I suppose that follows the theory that clams are much like onions, in that they’re NOT AT ALL IN ANY WAY SIMILAR OR INTERCHANGEABLE.

But while “Sour Cream & Clam” may be the Humpty-Dumpty company’s foulest bit of Frankenscience, they weren’t content to stop there. Witness also their contributions of “Fries & Gravy” and “Grilled Cheese & Ketchup” to the potato-chip world.

(When will men learn?)