A friend of mine found this. It’s an ordinary “Shoebox Greetings” Hallmark card.

Outside:
On a scale of what?

Inside:
Better luck next time!

Sure, it’s ostensibly for a birthday, but as my friend pointed out, it’s much better used as a breakup card.

Or, if you’re lucky, both!

(And if the recipient was born on Valentine’s Day, then boom! Hat trick!)