My brother and sister-in-law treated me to dinner at a relatively fancy-schmancy restaurant on Christmas, and the meal was topped off with some damn good chocolate cheesecake. “I’d prefer this dessert never end,” said I. “In fact, if there’s any time I’d be willing to suspend the law of entropy, this would be it. Sure, I’d pay for it later – like, say, my car breaks down a lot for the next week – but it’d be worth it.”

Which got me to thinking. If they could make an entropy-siphon, what would you use it on in life? Where would you shunt the waste entropy? For instance, I don’t actually own a car, but if I did, I’d rather it not require any maintenance at all. Ever. So just put an entropy-siphon under the hood, and it’s all good. No reason the waste couldn’t be pumped out indiscriminately like exhaust. Man, it’d be AWESOME to see the swath of broken-down vehicles and cardiac-arrested pedestrians I’d leave in my wake. Probably even get on the news.

But the obvious problem there is that other people would get in on the action and buy their OWN entropy-siphons, so eventually it’d all balance out to the way it had been before. No, what we need is a collection system. An entropy-dump where it becomes the government’s problem. Then they can throw it all into the ocean or bury it in New Mexico or make bombs out of it. Maybe put it into criminals. Rather than serving, say, twenty years, you inject a convict with twenty years’ worth of entropy. That’ll do wonders for prison overcrowding.

And why not the reverse? Wear an entropy-suit, and you’ll never age! Well, you’ll never age if you can afford all this entropy-gear. It’s a given that the rich will scoop all this tech up and pump their wrinkles, cancers, and mortality into the possessions and probably bodies of the poor. I foresee a day when a small group of immortal, immaculate, invincible demigods exists in untouchable perfection amidst a spent wasteland of wretched half-lives made numb and senseless by unbearable futility.

Who says that science means not all dreams can come true?

I disagree.