There I was at the grocery store, stocking up on the last of the discount expired egg nog (only low-fat left, but it’ll have to do), and I saw something amazing at the checkout line:

I'm seein' double!  FOUR Oprahs!

Yes, it’s exactly what it seems to be: Oprah’s ego has DOUBLED. Obviously the one-picture-of-herself-on-her-magazine-cover-every-month policy was too much of a sacrifice.

What this means for the future of “O” is clearly spelled out on her website:

“This year I’m choosing to live beyond my wildest dreams. I wonder where they’ll take me.”

Which can only mean one thing. She’s discovered clone porn. And soon, so will all her loyal readers.

(No, of course that’s not work-safe.)

(Imagine it! Oprah-on-Oprah action! Centerfolds like Triple-A maps!)